What does honor look like?

I know that I am not the only one to experience abuse at the hands of a parent. Physical, verbal, and mental abuse- none of it is okay and I have had friends and family constantly reference the Bible saying “Honor your father and mother…”
So let’s talk about that a little. Honoring an abusive parent can be complicated for the abused. When I read that scripture it seems so irrational to honor an abuser. It contradicts everything else written in the Bible, where evildoers are never honored, those who do wrong are never rewarded but suffer natural consequences for their actions.
At this point, God has given me a great deal of peace and the reality is my honor may look different than your honor because my relationship and experience are probably different than yours. My whole adult life I have struggled with this and I have come to terms with the fact that for right now that’s who this person is. I am choosing for it not to overshadow and define who I am and that means having no part of it in my life. I’ve drawn strong boundaries and removed them from my life completely. I don’t want to live my life in the shadows of my painful past. I want to literally walk in the love of Jesus and He is the bringer of light that casts OUT darkness.
Read this carefully though- Honor does NOT mean that you have no choice but to tolerate the abuse. Honoring does NOT mean that you never confront, or set boundaries on someone's behavior. Honoring does NOT mean you have to give up all hope of ever being treated with love and respect and sacrifice your own physical, mental, and emotional health.
It helps to remember that God does not do meaningless, irrational, or contradictory things. He NEVER rewards evil, and He will NEVER says anything to us that would make it easier for evil to prosper in our lives, or for abusers to get away with their wickedness. It does NOT make sense that our God, who is a GOOD GOOD father, would tell us to encourage and reward evil. So, If it doesn’t make sense and we do not feel at peace in our spirit about it, then it is not from God.